Thinking Of Adopting? Don't Fall Prey To These Myths

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If you are unable to have children of your own, you may be considering adopting a child. And yet, many couples even put off adoption because they've heard some untrue myths about the process and procedures involved! If you're serious about growing your family and showing love to a child who needs it, you'll want to learn the truth behind these myths.

Myth: If you want to adopt in the US, you must go through the foster care system.

Some people shy away from adopting domestically and only focus their efforts on international adoption because they've heard this myth. But while adopting from foster care is one option, there are also plenty of private adoptions that occur in the United States each year. If you work with a licensed adoption agency, they can match you with a pregnant mother who does not plan on keeping her child. You can take your time to find a birth mother you feel comfortable with.

Myth: Adopting a child is only for the wealthy.

Adopting a child is not cheap, but if you're on a tight budget, you do have options. A private, domestic adoption costs an average of $39,966 if you work with an adoption agency. This includes all legal fees, birth mother expenses, and networking costs. While this sounds like a lot, many agencies will offer some sort of financing to allow you to spread the costs out over a few years.

International adoptions can actually be more expensive than domestic ones. You'll pay an average of $40,067 if adopting from the Ukraine or $43,795 if adopting from South Korea. 

If you're on a tight budget, your best bet might be to adopt from foster care, for which the average cost is $2,744. The idea that there are no babies to be adopted from foster care, only older children, is also a myth. You may have to wait a few years if you're set on adopting a baby, but there are plenty of infants and toddlers who end up in foster care. Also consider that, by adopting an older child, you will be taking in someone who may otherwise never know the love you can show them.

Myth: You can't adopt a baby if you're over 35.

This myth emerged from the fact that foster care programs tend to give adoptive preference to parents who are the appropriate age to have given birth to a certain child naturally. For instance, they would more readily adopt a 2-year-old to a 34-year-old couple than a 46-year-old couple. These standards vary widely by state and even by county, but they only exist within the foster care system.

If you work with a private adoption agency, they may have some age restrictions for the protection of the child. (For instance, they may not adopt a baby to a 60-year-old couple.) However, if you're a little older -- such as in your 40s -- you should be able to find an adoption agency that is willing to work with you and birth parents who are happy to give their child to a more mature, established couple.

Myth: All children who need adoption have special needs.

While there are many children in foster care who have special needs, there are also many children who have not been diagnosed with any mental or physical ailments. There are also children with and without special needs up for adoption through adoption agencies. In either case, one of the first things you'll do when you start looking into adopting is fill out a questionnaire. This questionnaire will ask you what difficulties you're okay with a child having. If caring for a child with a learning disability or certain physical ailment is not something you're comfortable with, you can indicate this on the questionnaire, and you won't then be pressured to adopt children with these needs.

For more information, talk with local adoption agencies or visit websites like http://www.achildsdream.org.


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